Well it does feel like the end is near and that time has flown by...but when I look at it, Time seems so still. As of right now I have an Ear infection and I also have conjunctivitus...Neither of which are good. But its all apart of life. I talked to my best friend last night for the first time in 2 weeks. But it was only for a half hour. I love to reminesce with her, its always so much fun to think about what we've been through. Even the bad things. Just so much has happened and its been almost 2 years with her. She is my best friend ever and she knows that. She also knows that she's not the only one that is. I have another best friend..who isn't my best friend anymore...I officially said "goodbye" to Katie DiBona last night because her dad does not want her to see me. He says he's just looking out for her well being. Her and I have been best friends for 4 years, and now all of a sudden everything turns to crap. But its all just a part of life, and its not like I won't move on and find new people. But I also can't just throw every memory I had with Katie away. So much happened and its so difficult.

The tears that have been fallin from my eyes do nothing, and I've realized that. But they just can't seem to stop. I've gone through alot. And everything I've been through she knows about. Its heart breaking to find out that my best friend has been lying to me. I don't know what to do or say.

In the end, I'll be okay. and I'll realize that this is for the best. But in the mean time. Time WILL stand still.

So. I've come to the realization that God does care, but in the process I had to get hurt.

I prayed for 2 months that I would get a boyfriend before my birthday and then on February 25, 2008<3 I got a boyfriend. His name is Ryan Maloney and he was a COMPLETE sweet heart. I loved it so much. Well I trusted my best friend to talk to him and get to know him and everything and i wanted her approval pretty much. Well I got what I didn't want. She went off and was herself and threatened him...she told him that if he hurt me EVER she would hurt him 10x MORE. And I didn't know that she was going to do that. Of course I had to ask him first if it was okay for her to talk to him....my mistake..I shouldn't have even said a word. I was completely happy and nothing could bring me down. When I talked to him, I got that funny feeling in my tummy, the "butterflies" as they would call it.

I hate that feeling now. I regret ever having it. 2.25.08 is by far the worst day ever but at the same time, it was completely and ridiculously amazing. He had me so tightly held in his arms even though he doesn't live as close as I would like. It just seems as though that I have magic....but it just doesn't want to come out yet.?

Again..why does life have to be so complicated..!!!! but anyways, he broke up with me on the 29th of February, because my friend threatened him and he doesn't fly like that. I cried for 2 hours, and then I cried myself to sleep that night. God made sure that I got hurt, I know he didn't mean to but he had to...the pain is more then I can bear...Ryan asked me to wait until after baseball season...but I don't know if I can do that...I don't know if I can take the pain again..

And to finish it all up I suppose, I'm hurt, and I know I should be, I fell inlove with a guy that I shouldn't have, I don't think I would mind having him backk..But I was just expecting it to end so quickly. Its so strange how love can come and go so quickly...

Its February vacation...I fell inlove, and I continue to be in that  feeling, I don't intend it but I don't know what to do...My best friend is on a cruise, my heart is in my throat.

Well thats all I have to say now. Life happens, boys come and go, Hearts get broken, and thoughts continue. Over all, I'll be............just fine.

 So my biffles<3

Sara Nicole Wilson: haha, I've known you since August and i love you so much. From my gracefull fall in P.E. to stupid boys, to 7th grade girls, to....just anything...you're amazing hahaha, I love talking to you, you know how to make me happy, we'll have more parties at my place with my silly other biffles...ALL of them...don't worry, you'll meet all of them and we'll be a big happy family<3 ily.!

Luke Thomas Maillet: You're my best friend. You've made like my life the best, haha seriously. I've known you since 3rd grade, you never liked me until freshmen year but only cause I walked up to you and put my arm on your shoulder and called you my best friend hahah.! good times good times...You and Kaitlin made the Cape Cod trip absolutely amazing for me. Haha...just wow...ily.!

Kayla Olivia Ray: I love you to death. You've been my best friend for the past...4 years.! you're amazing..I don't know what I would do without you. You help me through everything, no matter what it is. You know what to say, and you know how to help even though you may not think so. I miss you a ton and that's not gonna change...this year sucks not having you around all the time...You know how to make my day and you know how to make me smile...you're my favorite<3 ily.!

 Daniel Matthew Hartling: Oh my God Dan...haha you're my all time best friend.! you make me laugh so much, I love your little stories that you make, I love hearing about your day, your adventures sound amazing, running away to Canada in a hot air balloon..just every little thing you do makes me happy. I love how when you see me you're the first one to say something, you're the first one to give me a hug. You soo good Dan. ily.!<3

Kaitlin Elizabeth Mosher: Miss Mosher...you mean everything to me. We finish each others sentences...we know what we are both thinking, we are going through the same trials one right after the other. When you call me and you try to tell me how you feel and can't find the word I know how you feel. Dead. We have SOO many inside jokes its amazing "DO ITTTTTTT.!" or "Amy, we're so crazy, why do people like us" or even our little names for the boys in our class that EVERYONE caught on to but we used it anyways...just the smallest things makes us what we are today. I will love you to the end of my days. ilysm.!<3

Benjamin Robert Bickmore: Man do I love you.! Soccer season was incredible. I loved going to the games and making you say "SHARAMA" while kicking the ball...deff gave you more power...so I thought anyways...pinky promises, hugs cause of those promises, your stupid little faces, Haha and to think I've only known you since June but finally got to know you in September... Good stuff right there...you're one of my biffles and it should be an amazing feeling(Cause I'm Amy, and I said so) so yeah..umm you're amazing. ily.!<3

Ji Hyun Bae: You may live in Korea but I love you sooo much.! I loved having choir with you last year and getting out early and what not..I loved walking over to the other building with you and pressing the button and then going inside to stand outside of apologetics and watch you make faces at Mr. Curry and making the whole class laugh. I remember the day before you left to go home over the summer, that me, you and Kayla hung out together, and...we called Luke and you told him to run to Kayla's house and all that crazy stuff, and he came. haha you're just amazing. I love you to pieces and I miss you so much.! ily!<3

Wow. BestFriends are supposed to be so close, but I feel so distant.

I dont talk to them, I dont see them, I cant hug them, I cant hear their voice, they cant make me smile, They cant cheer me up like the would if they were around...I really dont care anymore whether or not I am home, home is where the heart is and I no longer feel mine beating,

Why am I so depressed?

Why do I feel I can only live when you're around?

Its cause you guys made me oh so happy when you were around, now  I have no one to do that for me anymore.I feel like my heart has been broken, and I dont doubt it but I guess I'm just gonna have to grin and bear it for the rest of this year...

ily guys.

So Amazing this Summer was.

Even tho I got like yelled at a whole lot.

It was all worth it.

I wasn't the same person I was when the year started, its amazing how much change is needed.

I made amazing friends this Summer and Kept my beloved BestFriends as well.

I'm so good at that kinda thing. : )

But sadly as amazing as Summer of '07 was to me, mine is quickly coming to an end.

I start school on the 24th of this month which is a week from today.

Scary I know.

I'm going so SMCA[South Merrimack Christian Academy].

I'm going to be a Sophomore .

I'm going to be like soo lonely so I took pictures of my BestFriends and I am going to put them in my locker. : )

although I am gonna be lonely I have Sheila and Becka and my cousins with me the whole way.

I have inside jokes with my cousin for the hallways.[Hooray for trouble!]

Haha I'm going to miss you five the most!!!!!

Luke Thomas Maillet.

Kaitlin Elizabeth Mosher.

Zachary James Ford.

Kayla Olivia Ray.

Daniel...Hartling haha

I love you guys!

: )